I have come to realize that Albanian men hold a huge stalking potential, which is apparently unleashed whenever a woman is somewhat responsive to their presence. Albanian men - and I make very few exceptions here- have also a seemingly inherent talent for retaliating in the crudest way possible when their godlike persistence and awe-inspiring endurance fail to convince a woman to sleep with them.
I did not live in Albania long enough to date. The one man I decided to go out with assaulted me on the second date, which cancels the "date" factor from that equation. I am sure his penis eventually fell off and the rest of him was eaten alive by an army of hungry Ebola infested monkeys, but I have forgiven him so let's move on.
Having had no experience with Albanian men, I considered the possibility that I might inadvertently give out the "wrong" message. This would explain the "stalking/harassment" without shaming the entire male population of my kind. After all, when I am in Albania my brother frequently warns me to "stop smiling" or "stop being so friendly, because it's weird". As my mother acknowledges whenever given the chance, I do have the tendency to smile too much, "like a fucking imbecile". Albanians are generally not a smiling people.
Unfortunately, after marinating on this thought for about a week, I realized that I am not the one to blame. I might be very polite, but I am also brutally honest and in a very Albanian fashion, my face frequently fails to filter irritation and boredom. Furthermore, having had no contact with any Albanians outside my family for many years, I treat Albanian men as I would my cousins, and I do not flirt with my cousins. We're from Albania, not Kentucky.
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Though, as an Albanian male, the first reaction to this would be, "That's bullshit!" I am not an expert in it because the supposed behavior you speak of is never directed at me. I do, however, take offense in the fact that while some people like to point out the shortsightedness of stereotyping or take pride in the fact that they have "liberalized" views on matters of homophobia, sexism, racism, etc. they are very quick to bash their own as if that is OK. Can you imagine yourself saying, (and let me quote your post here) "I have come to realize that [blank] men have a huge stalking potential, which is apparently unleashed whenever a woman is somewhat responsive to their presence." and substituting 'black' or 'Jewish' or anything for that mater, for 'Albanian?' Granted, you may not have had such experiences with non-Albanian men, but if you had, (and that is quite possible in an infinite number of combinations of lolers+men-of-a-certain-group) would you have said something like that about them?
To me, taking such freedoms with your own people, shows a hidden desire to stereotype but realizing that it is not civilized or acceptable to do so against groups you don't belong to. I may be wrong though. I tend to stereotype inconsistent people.
Actually, I edited this post because I feared it would support a negative image of Albanian men. The “huge stalking potential” part was obviously an exaggerated statement and anyone who takes it literally either has an agenda or has no sense of humor.
I do not know why you are accusing me of being inconsistent. I was honest.
se pari : ta gezosh gunen e re:)
se dyti: nuk dua te flas per meshkujt shpitare , gjeja e vetme qe dua te komentoj ne lidhje me shkrimin tend eshte se ajo sa thua per shqiptaret (se nuk para qeshin lehte , apo habiten se tepermi) eshte mese e vertete.Une nuk jam asnjehre kundra vendit tim , e dua dhe e mbroj ate ,por ka disa gjera qe nuk i tresim dot.Kjo nuk them se vjen ngaqe une jam me e mire se ata , thjesht sepse une (te pakten) nuk jam mesuar te fsheh kaq shume ndjesite e mia , apo te sillem si nje vajze "e rende" :)) kot se koti dhe te fsheh ate qe dua te shpreh.Te njejten sjellje e kam bere dhe kur kam jetuar ne Shqiperi,ndersa tani te pakten perfitoj nga rasti i zemergjersise:) ! se shiptareve qe e marrin çike punen me lehte kur mendojne se jetoj jashte shtetit.Dhe kur them shprehi apo mimika mos imagjinoni gjera shume te egzagjeruara, jo jo dhe per disa gjera tejet te natyrshme ka nje lloj tendence frenimite vetes.S'e kemi haberin ne ndoshta mos eshte gje e qeshura apo shprehia e lire me leke ne Shqiperi?Kete e them e shtyre dhe une si ti Lolers nga bezdia qe me eshte shkaktuar kur me mua sillen sikur te kisha temperature dhe me hapin rruge:( :)
nu them se jane te tere shqiptaret keshtu , por ka goxha stereotipe te tille....
it's true that there are some albo men who don't smile often, I don't see the point of stereotyping either.
But it is scary if your cousins are hitting on you and stalking you...
Lolers,
the problem is that many Albanian men express their interest through what they call "pursuing" and what you call "stalking".
Men do not like to admit these things, but I had the windows of my apt broken repeatedly for 5 years in a row, because I refused a date with a boy. Mind you, this was a very nice boy. I was also stopped in the streets for more times that I can count, telephoned to the point of madness and otherwise harrassed. this was only the most extreme case, because i became very adept at deflecting all sorts of men following me home, stopping me on the street, at the cafe and God knows where else. And if i told my father, or complained to the police, I do not think much would have changed, except I would have been grounded for life. The same story went for my friends, and we were not the most beautiful girls in the universe.
But it was part of the culture, the rough, repressed violent culture of the time. The solution would be to find a "boyfriend", "go out only with male relatives or family", or keep a one inch thick and 10 inch wide steel ruler, which served me very well during those time, and which i still miss.
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